Abide and Be Fruitful

I've been pondering the commandment to abide and be fruitful - and God reminded me of a similar metanoya from a few years back. For me, the core issue is TRUST. Do I trust God, that if I stop to listen and abide, He will actually make me MORE fruitful than if I keep going?

I remember having this same issue of TRUST with money. In God's Kingdom, when you give, you actually have more. But in the process of giving, it FEELS like you have less. I remember this so clearly one day when I was at WalMart. I was preparing to leave for my first trip to Bulgaria to see Anna for the very first time. She was only 5-years-old and only spoke Bulgarian, so I knew we'd need some toys and things to do together for us to be able to connect. I went up an down the aisles loading my cart with things that I thought she'd enjoy. I was heading to the register when God said, "Go back and buy two of everything you picked". The adoption agency had arranged for me to meet up with another adoptive mom, Kim, from Alabama, and God reminded me that the little girl she was adopting would enjoy these same toys as well. I did some quick mental math, and concluded that if I bought double, I'd be down to less than $10 in my checking account. I prayed and asked God to help me trust Him and believe that He would truly supply all our needs, and then I went back and bought 2 of everything. The rest of the story is just amazing! Kim almost missed her flight, but we did meet on the very back row of the plane on our way to Bulgaria. I got extremely sick in flight - so sick that Kim actually had to wheel chair me through the airport in our layover in Germany. When I could finally sit up in a chair, we stopped for some hot tea, and there she told me that God had laid it on her husband's heart to give us TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS to help us with adoption expenses...
So here I was sitting and weeping thinking back to that moment in WalMart where God told me to buy double --------- He already had a plan in place to ABUNDANTLY "pay back" what I had spent. Looking back, it's embarrassing to admit I had such a struggle to trust Him.

I believe, that once I TRULY trust and believe God on this time issue, He will cause me to be more fruitful than if I just keep going. Fruit can ONLY come from staying connected to the Vine, and apart from Him, I can stay reallllllllly busy, yet accomplish NOTHING.......
God's kingdom's ways shake loose so much false thinking...

Thanks for being in this journey with me!